In Remembrance of Me: Men are such babies...

Monday, June 28, 2004

Men are such babies...

LOLOL Ok, that's really not fair in this case. John went in on Friday and is now officially a gelding. Well, nothing was removed, just the plumbing was disattached. And he was pretty much couch ridden for the entire weekend. I did feel bad for him because I can imagine it was a rather painful experience but I really had no idea the extent of his discomfort until I actually saw the offended area. Suffice it to say there was significant swelling which would impede mobility in any human being. Poor fella. So I was running around over the weekend tending to the kids and to him and trying to get work done. I even cooked. bleh. However the kitchen is a disaster area because I haven't been cleaning up after myself very well. Shame on me. It is my plan to do it after work today. I hope.

I wiggled Ian's tooth this morning and I think it is definitely ready to come out. If it's not out when I get home today, we may take it out before bedtime tonight. The boy is going to be rich. LOLOL

I arranged for Janet to go out and observe Aidan at school to see if we can get an idea whether some of her behaviors are sensory related.

I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Stayed up way too late working on the computer. Couldn't find anything good on any of the OTR stations I usually listen to so I put on Magic Circle Radio and tried to meditate for a while. It was good. I found I was SEVERLY tense, so I let go of a TON of tension and negative energy. After I let go of that I worked on visualizations and trying to pull my chaotic thoughts together and ground myself so I could listen. Once I got myself centered a bit I could hear the loons on the lake and started opening up to what the gods and guides wanted to tell me. My first vision was of fire and an opening lotus flower. After a while I came around to realizing that what I should be asking for was help and guidance on how to connect to my daughter. I so naturally and easily connect to Ian, it's just there. It's harder with Aidan. It's work and I don't do it well. I love her, she is an amazingly wonderful, vibrant, funny, beautiful little girl. Perhaps this is part of the problem. Ian relates on a much more adult level because of the Asperger's syndrome. Aidan has none of that. She lives in a little girl world and relates in a little girl fashion. It's a foreign country with odd language and customs and I just don't get it. But, as a devotee of Star Trek and Gene Roddenberry, I should embrace the chance for discovery and exploration, I suppose. IDIC and all that. If I look at it as more of a First Contact kind of thing where I have to learn the language and customs in order to interact with the natives... From that perspective it makes much more sense. GAD who would have thought parenting would be equivalent to interstellar diplomacy. There are days when I'm still not sure the universe knew what it was doing entrusting me with these children.

Well, enough of that for the day.

Peace.